Birthdays and Special Times.

Man, have I had a week of it.  I do have a talent for stretching my birthdays out over a week or more. And this year was no exception.

My birthday celebrations started a week early, at a local river cleanup where my damp, wader clad colleagues set up a surprise party for me with balloons, a cake and flowers.  And a ragged chorus of 'Happy Birthday' sung by 62 people on a muddy riverbank in the perishing cold. A lovely kick off for the main event...

The following weekend was a self indulgent one. A trip up to York for

a weekend of wandering through the old town, little boutiques, markets, junk shops, delis, National Trust properties, York Minster and the Jorvik Viking centre.  I had a lovely time just following my feet and kept myself well stoked up in the cold, with cups of tea and cakes...

This trip was followed soon after by a spa break on my actual birthday in the middle of the New Forest with a couple of me old muckers. Birthday cake, champagne, posh dinners and a full day of pampering and hydrotherapy.....Bliss! (Ahem, I might have to develop a nervous complaint to justify doing this more often...)

And finally my birthday fortnight closed with a Weekend in Whitstable with my gay fellas and their 2 adorable mini Schnauzers. Much wine was drunk.  Much sitting in the pub with papers and wonderfully well behaved dogs after chilly walks along the waterfront (yes, Spring has not touched us yet) and much excellent eating in my fave gastro pub, the Three Mariners at Oare.

I now need a week or so to detox, pay bills, do laundry and get my house in order. But it was all so so worth it.....

To Date or not to Date.

I have just officially given up on internet dating. God only knows, I've had a good crack at it over the last 2 years. But I have come to a few gritty conclusions that now take me down a different path.

1) Internet dating was invented by men and designed around their shopping behaviours. That is, make a check list of what you want and work through this comprehensively with the profiles you view on line. A very rational, deconstructionist approach. Has own money? Tick. Come hither smile? Tick. Tight bum? Tick. Fifteen years younger? Tick. Will look past my pot belly and grizzly dental work? Tick. You get the picture.....About as heart warming and inspiring as a trip to the plumbing supplies wholesaler.

2) Well, we all lie on line don't we? 75% of the men I have met up with have lied about their age - sometimes to the tune of 10-15 years. They are entirely unapologetic about it and justify it by announcing that they feel so much younger that their real age so it doesn't count. Believe me, it counts.

3) Men's manners go right out the window when they perceive they have an endless array of women to choose from. Emailing/texting or talking on the phone, I mean it's not like talking to a real person, right? I find myself fielding incredibly personal questions and fending off sleazy/puerile innuendo before we've even met. I would never carry out these conversations with someone I met through friends, or work or in day to day activities. 

I give up. I'm just going to have to get out and about a bit more. Men are so much nicer in the real world.....

Dolbell Reserve

I was feeling a bit nostalgic for the Dolbell Reserve today.  This is a lovely park reserve comprising a high grassy hill ridge, with a stretch of tree dotted park and picnic area at the bottom and a forest walk up one side connecting it to the summit. It rises up behind my parents suburb in Napier and can be seen for miles. The sun hits it in the mornings and the dry, yellowed grasses seem to glow in the early light.

It's a lovely hill to look up towards in the mornings over your tea and toast, but over the 2012 Xmas break I also went for a couple of early morning walks up there (some exercise before the heat of the day set in). It really is a magical spot - and it makes me think what a numpty I am for not having made that walk a more regular event.

With the folks moving away from the area within the next couple of months, I'm realising this familiar landmark won't be within easy reach any more on my trips back, and it  makes me a bit sad. Typically, you don't appreciate these familiar places until you lose them.

Never mind.  This hill is special and will always hold a place in my heart and memories.

Mug Shots.

I've just been through the agonising and expensive exercise of getting photos taken for a passport renewal. Usually I go for the best of five and have them taken over the space of a week or so, but this was for a passport that had already expired and I was in a hurry to get the application in. So I did the rounds, got 3 photos in one day and went home to peruse the results.

In the first I looked like a hooker recently beaten up by her pimp. Pallid, dishevelled and lumpen with my carefully applied makeup looking like 2 black eyes.

In the second I looked jowlly with the uncomfortably pained look of someone with a bowel obstruction.

In the third and final one, the one I eventually submitted, the aging photographer said I had a look of Britt Ekland about me. Yes, perhaps - Britt Ekland is 70 after all and the photo didn't look far off the mark...

I sent it away, and received my passport back within the week. God help me.  I'm going to have to live with this for the next 5 years. But when did they cut the life of a passport back from 10 to 5 years? Actually, on second thoughts, with this one it may be a blessing...

Where Sheep do Roam (on Roads)

With my NZ sheep farming background, I like sheep and have been thinking today of things Ovine. My recent trip to the Peak District had me wandering around the Chatsworth grounds on a beautiful sunny (if crisp) winters day. Sheep were happily grazing in the sunshine.  It also happened that they were thronging on the estate roads like drunken youths on a Friday night.

It soon became clear that the estate team had been assiduously salting/gritting the roads against ice, perhaps not realising that sheep love nothing more than a good salt lick... It was hilarious to see them all with their heads down licking the roads en masse while traffic backed up in both directions. Fearless, they were.

It contrasted with my recent mid summer NZ trip and the hot dusty Hawkes Bay country roads. A lot of sheep being moved on roads shimmering in 32 degree heat. A lot of slow, patient driving following dogs, quad bikes and flocks of bobbing sheeps bums. I could almost see my 14 yr old self following on foot, flapping her arms and going Shooossshhh shooossshhh til they were though the gates. Sigh....

Loving the Lonely Ones...

I realise it's been a looooonnnnngggg time since I signed on and wrote a blog.  Not sure why - I got busy, got out of the habit etc etc.  But Valentines day seemes to be a propitious time to pick it up again.

I've been pondering on love this morning.  How it can be so hard to find, and sometimes, so hard to hang on to. But love comes in many guises and we should throw that love out there, regardless. Friends, family, children, pets, gardens, favourite books - what's not to love?

But I also spare a special thought for those without love in their lives - the lost, the lonely, the isolated and the aged or ill. Or just those who can't feel the love around them.  These are the people who need it most.

Valentines Day can be bittersweet. While the lucky celebrate it with their loved ones, for others it only highlights the hole in their lives. Lets make it less Commercial (with a capital C), and focus on more tender and loving kindness in the world...

Teen Trauma

Teen overdose this weekend.  I ended up unexpectedly working on a river cleanup with about 50-60 teens from the Challenge Network, an organisation that aims to "connect and inspire young people in order to strengthen their communities with programmes that create a rite of passage for 16 year olds, promote social mixing and support community engagement."

This is a very admirable organisation and we have had some of their kids along to our general cleanups recently but, my word, a whole flock/gaggle/herd of them on a muddy river bank (smelling of dog pee) on a chilly autumn Sunday was a challenge in itself.

Don't get me wrong, they were great kids - full of life, energy, laughter, hysteria, shrieking, boredom, idleness, energy, helpfulness, shyness, self consciousness - just typical teens really.  But I now realise how long it's been since I have dealt with teens en masse. I turned into my mother. "Please don't sit on the table - it's only plastic. Don't sit on the table (blank eyed stares in return). Can you get off the table! Off the table now!" (as it tips and collapses)....

I spent much time soothing girlie hysteria (Argh! A used condom! I'm not touching that! (despite being clad in waders, rubber gloves and wielding a 3 foot long litter picker). Pointing desperate boys to secluded bushes for a pee (why can't they hang on for 20 mins?). Sluicing them repeatedly in hand sanitiser and eyewash (they took the health and safety talk about Weils disease very seriously) and lecturing that would be no cake until they finished their sandwiches....

Ruminating afterwards, you realise what learners teens are.  I wouldn't be a teen again for anything. There were some who were incredibly helpful, polite and appreciative, some who were strong, sassy and funny, some who were just drifting along and unengaged and some who were desperate for the attention and approval of their friends and frankly, acted like dorks. Gosh, life at that age is such a drama!

Overall, though it was a strain at times (good thing that I have a strong pair of lungs for being heard over the uproar), I think it was good for me to reconnect and remind myself what it's like being 16, and be thankful that I NEVER HAVE TO GO THERE AGAIN!